Show me yours!

I went to my doctor full of hope,
That he might let me touch his stethescope.
But when he heard the pounding in my chest,
He started to examine both my breasts!

And I said “what’s up doc, you know I’m feeling fine,
But you must show me yours, before I show you mine!”

Paid a visit to my lawyer for a price,
On how to sue my virtue for my vice,
But my learned friend was of the firm belief,
He’d have to look much closer through my briefs!

And I said, “Dahling it would be a ghastly crime,
If you don’t show me yours, before I show you mine!

My shares did not go up but just fell down,
Making my accountant fuss and frown.
He insisted to increase my darker debit,
He’d have to fiddle with my figure for some credit.

And I said, “Count your blessings adding every dime,
If you don’t show me yours, before I show you mine!”

I dropped into my butcher for a treat,
To feast upon a piece of juicy meat.
But in order to get value for his pound,
He tried to weigh my rump the wrong way round!

But as I’m seasoned with a pinch of sage and time,
I said, “weigh up yours, before you weigh up mine.”

I popped into my grocer for some fruit,
When he asked me if I’d like to take a root.
But then he made a gesture so obscene,
When he displayed his purple aubergine!

And I said, “Dahling have it rippened on the vine,
But since you’ve shown me yours, I shall not show you mine!