Odd Balls!

Dahling life can be a bitch,
When judged from a football pitch.
How to tell the rise and fall,
Eleven men, but just one ball!

What a cheek!

One may think I have a plan,
To be as witty as I can.
But really I am just too weak
To take my tongue out of my cheek!

Frugal is a filthy word!

Oh damn this economic curse,
The doom and gloom inside my purse.
So dahlings I’ll show no contrition
Spending like a politician!

Crashed and spurned!

The curtain’s up, a little pause,
Then I perform to your applause.
But now its done, I must record
That I am left alone and bored!

Tonight is the night!

Forget my dears your dark depression,
This never ending rough recession.
Spend your cash don’t be a stinge
And come and see me at the Fringe!

Dorothy Darker will be appearing tonight at the Vertical Rhythm Club in the Spiegeltent at George’s Dock as part of the Absolut Fringe. Doors open at 9.30pm.

Dead Air!

I knew a chap who made the choice
To listen only to his voice.
I said, “Oh Dahling, you should know,
You have a face for radio!

Dorothy Darker will be appearing in the Spiegeltent on Wednesday 9th September at the Vertical Rhythm Club during the Absolut Fringe.

Hey presto!

I sit and think of what to write,
And pray I have not lost my bite.
In readyiness for my attack,
Beware my dears, the bitch is back!

Dorothy Darker will be appearing at the Vertical Rhythm Club at the Speigeltent on Wednesday September 9

Snappy Valentine’s Day!

Roses are red, violets are blue,
I never saw love that I deemed to be true.
The flowers smell awful, the cards look like trash,
But Hallmark ’s still making a bouquet of cash!

Economically yours!

Roses are red, the economy ’s blue,
Bob the Builder has nothing to do.
But I’ll spend to the end, and so I must gloat
While my shopping spree keeps the country afloat!

Big Smother!

The rise of reality tv
Promotes the mock celebrity.
But Dahlings, I do so despise
Those fools with silly tv lives!