Ever since the dawn of time began,
I’ve slept with one eye open for a man.
But as they rise and fall,
I’m not satisfied at all,
And all that I can do is cry and plea,

Oh dahling, is there anyone for me!

When my love life made its fatal start,
I adored my teddy bear with all my heart.
But then he formed a dirty habit
And ran off with my rabbit,
And all that I could do was sigh and seethe,

Oh dahling, you were not the one for me!

I remember on a pink and perky day,
I met a man, who smiled at me, so gay.
But then he hopped out of my closet,
And left with no deposit
When he made off in my favourite lingerie,

And I thought, dahling, you were not the one for me!

I decided, that my tactics, I must switch,
And find myself a man who’s filthy rich.
But when I found myself a honey
All he had was dirty money,
And the cad, he never spent a cent, you see,

So I knew, dahling, you were not the one for me!

I dared to find myself a Romeo,
Who knew, upon a woman, where to go.
But while he fumbled quite a lot
He failed to hit the spot,
And I’m sure, that every woman would agree

When I say, dahling, you were not the one for me!

I found myself a gent that dripped with charm,
And I fancied myself hanging from his arm.
But then I saw him with a pram,
And I thought, damn, a married man
As I fell out, once again, with destiny,

As I cried, dahling, you were never meant to be.

But still the search goes on, you see, in vain,
As I paste my smile to cover up the pain.
So while I hold my breath
I think I’ll drink myself to death,
While I search for Mr Right indefinitely,

For dahling, nobody is good enough for me!

Dorothy Darker will be appearing at the Vertical Rhythm Club on Monday 20th September 2010 at the Button Factory in Temple Bar during the Absolute Fringe 2010

Bleak Houses

August 3, 2010

Sitting in my ghost estate,
I’m haunted by my empty plate.
But markets fall and walls crash down
When built with envelopes of brown!