Show me yours!

April 17, 2011

I went to my doctor full of hope,
That he might let me touch his stethescope.
But when he heard the pounding in my chest,
He started to examine both my breasts!

And I said “what’s up doc, you know I’m feeling fine,
But you must show me yours, before I show you mine!”

Paid a visit to my lawyer for a price,
On how to sue my virtue for my vice,
But my learned friend was of the firm belief,
He’d have to look much closer through my briefs!

And I said, “Dahling it would be a ghastly crime,
If you don’t show me yours, before I show you mine!

My shares did not go up but just fell down,
Making my accountant fuss and frown.
He insisted to increase my darker debit,
He’d have to fiddle with my figure for some credit.

And I said, “Count your blessings adding every dime,
If you don’t show me yours, before I show you mine!”

I dropped into my butcher for a treat,
To feast upon a piece of juicy meat.
But in order to get value for his pound,
He tried to weigh my rump the wrong way round!

But as I’m seasoned with a pinch of sage and time,
I said, “weigh up yours, before you weigh up mine.”

I popped into my grocer for some fruit,
When he asked me if I’d like to take a root.
But then he made a gesture so obscene,
When he displayed his purple aubergine!

And I said, “Dahling have it rippened on the vine,
But since you’ve shown me yours, I shall not show you mine!



January 15, 2009

Bought with hope and face of red,
A pack of dreams beside the bed.
This glove for love, too late to mate,
Now just a condom out-of-date!

The Tit and the Pendulum!

January 14, 2009

Although I have a wicked rack,
The boys, they never call me back.
My love life really is a scream,
Of crush the hope, forget the dream!

Sole Trader

November 21, 2008

A tingle tight, I touch and feel
Leather mounted on a heel.
Slip of plastic makes me moan,
Another pair I’m taking home!

Where there’s a will…

November 19, 2008

The slump has hit, I’ve had enough,
Time to get a bit of rough.
Don’t let the market make you frown,
You’ll find your share is going down!

Between the lines

November 17, 2008

Writing poetry is no mean feat,
Like walking bare-bottomed down the street.
But be you poet, or be you hack,
Do not fall into that crack!

Lay as you earn!

November 12, 2008

Although I sometimes dress in red,
I don’t enter just any bed.
You have to be a worthy kind
To step into my filthy mind!

Bow Wow!

November 7, 2008

I loved his bark, he loved my bite,
And so we howled into the night.
In gratitude as I lay prone,
I gave, that dog, the biggest bone!

More bother than its worth!

November 1, 2008

Men may moan and groan and growl,
They grunt and whoop and snort and howl.
But climaxing at pleasures end,
Often women just pretend!

Swing Hide!

October 25, 2008

Swing me high, swing me low,
Swing me ‘oer your shoulder go.
But hold on boys, there’s something wrong,
I never put my panties on!